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Dear friends,
I have been asked quite rightfully by a young friend of mine as to why I am not called Dr. Dr. Kinetics when I have two PhDs. Sigh! Unfortunately, we great minds must remain modest. You see, that is the key to greatness! If I called myself Dr. Dr. Kinetics, then you would probably think that I am too proud of my research and findings. Now that is definitely not correct, although you would not find many geniuses in this part of the world today who could have done so much genuine and dedicated research on Binaural Waves, Omega Waves and... at this point my modesty prevents me from continuing.
The actual reason why I am probably not being referred to as Dr. Dr. Kinetics is because the council is still (stubbornly) refusing to accept my research as genuine. Some believe that Omega Waves ought to be considered as a part of Binaural Spectrum(I, of course, disagree). Some other also believe that a number of German scientists were researching these Omega Waves and would have been given the credit they deserve had I not 'accidentally' discovered these particular waves thanks to a 'blunder' I committed with my Wave experiment.(Bah! These Germans have always had some excuse or the other to persecute either Jews or me.) However, most of the council, for some reason, agrees on one thing. They believe that I have been affected by the Omega Waves. I find this offending! How could they even consider Omega Waves as Binaural? They do not even fit in the specified bandwidth (or frequency range)!
I, however, am not concerned about the council’s opinion of my research. And I’m also aware that you will kill me the next time I mention either 'binaural' or 'Omega' or 'wave' in this post. But my friend mentioned earlier has brought to my notice an important question about this universe which has for long been left unanswered. I, Dr. Kinetics (MSc, PhD, PhD), however, decided to do some studying (yes, just as I did in High School and College, but with better experience now). And after several trails and errors, my great mind has finally come to a conclusion.
Did the hen come first or was it an egg? Interesting and challenging! Hens and eggs are essential elements of the reproductive life cycles of the Gallus gallus domesticus (i.e. hens). Initially, this might seem ambiguous to the average mind. Don’t worry! I have already done the research. In fact, maybe I should submit this to the council and see if I could get accepted as one of them. Maybe they would award me another PhD and I would then be known as Dr. Dr. Dr. Kinetics.
To get to the bottom of this, I decided to go to the best place with the right ambiance for this sort of research. If there was anywhere in the world where I could get the right solution to this problem, it was here. I then realized exactly what Gautama Bhudda experienced under that Bhodhi tree. The bliss of understanding and realization! There I stood in front of the counter of . . . KFC! And so I ordered two Fillers and strawberry-flavored Crusher (to wash it all down). And after I had settled the problem of my hunger (which was the bigger issue), I decided to tackle the smaller aspects of my quest.
A small question arose in a particular corner of my mind. We all know that Urea was the first organic substance discovered to have been obtained from inorganic matter. We also know that Amoeba was the first living cell from which all greater forms of life(yes, such as mankind) had evolved. We also know that vegetarians refrain from eating Chicken. Now… is egg accepted as food by vegetarians? This question was challenging and kept me thinking for a while. The Indians invented zero, which appears like an egg. Due to its lack of independent value, zero is placed before all real numbers when arranged in ascending order. So the egg comes first! But then, how could an egg appear without a hen to lay it? And where could a hen be brought from when there are no eggs. And if both the vegetarians and non-vegetarians attack what little eggs we have for our daily morning experiments (boiled, scrambled or Omelets) then how could we great minds arrive at solutions at all? However, since zero has hardly any face value, it is not very difficult to find an egg. A KFC filler cost me much more than that. So I guess, it would have been the egg which was first brought into existence. 'The egg ' was probably at that stage the ultimate form of evolution. Never did the scientists back then realize that it was destined... to be served on breakfast-plates.
This discovery opened several doors in my mind. I felt quite enlightened. I wondered, at that moment, if this was what Albert Einstein often experienced during his days. Today, I have answered this trivial question with an ingenious solution. Tomorrow, perhaps I could try answering more complex challenges. Maybe I could try to conduct a study and figure out why we men have never been able to understand women. Hmm… but maybe I shouldn’t get too ambitious. I ought to leave some of these issues unsolved for the Germans. Well, GUTEN GLÜCK to them!
If you have any queries about how this universe is run by the laws of nature or about the different interesting theories revolving our lives on this planet, please feel free to send me an email at doctor.madscientist.kinetics@gmail.com and I shall respond to you as soon as I have completed my current list of researches. And if you are telepathic, please visit me some time. I would like to test my EEG and see if it still works. The last time I tried, the frog died. My conclusion was that the frog was not intelligent enough to satisfy the EEG test. You, however may be a lot more potent.
Special thanks to ‘a random reader 123’ and all my other readers across this globe, for all the words of encouragement. And now, I shall get back to… saving the world from... the wrath of... the chickens.
Dr. Kinetics (MSc, PhD, PhD)
